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Southern Girls Living Fearlessly - Day 18
Freelance Writer/Author/Educator
Last comment by jwduncan69 1 year, 9 months ago.

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Don't put up your umbrella until it starts raining.

A lot of us are standing around under opened umbrellas because it might rain. Although we southern belles are the queens of big hair, we recognize the difference between a big do and puffed up frizz. The latter mane is one to avoid. Yet, if we always agonize over rain ruining our locks, we've constantly got one hand holding up the umbrella, leaving only one to work with; thus we're only half as productive in life.

Like a good southerner, I'm using a metaphor to explain a common hindrance to living fearlessly - worry. And I myself am not immune to it.

Tomorrow, my husband leaves for a hunting trip to the arctic circle wilderness of northern Alaska. He and three other men will be dropped by a float plane along a river bank with the understanding that the pilot will return in 10 days to collect them at a designated point 50 miles down river. They will have no guide, no roads, no hotel rooms, no grocery stores, no doctor, no pharmacy, no wives with common sense. Just them, the grizzlies, the wolves, the caribou, and the packs on their backs.

Even though I laughed when the three other men intimated that their spouses won't need to fret about the bears because my beloved is the slowest runner, to say that I am worried is an understatement. It creeps across my mind on a daily basis that there's a chance he might not come back. There's a chance he might meet up with a grizzly bear. There's a chance his pilot might not return. There's a chance he might get hopelessly lost. There's a chance he took all the wrong supplies. There's a chance he and the others will run out of food. There's a chance a terrible accident might happen. There's a chance the pilot might crash.

When I think all these nagging thoughts, I start reaching for that umbrella - Where are his life insurance policies? How will I manage the business on my own? What are all of our loan and bank account numbers? Who manages our investments? What will I tell the children? - and I hold it over my head just in case the sky starts falling.

But holding up that umbrella won't stop the rain from coming down. It won't stop my husband from going on his oh-my-gosh-I'm-almost-40-and-what-have-I-done-with-my-life adventure. And it won't alter any possible consequences or outcomes. I have to have faith that God has him in His hands. And I have to keep telling myself that one midlife-crisis excursion to the Alaskan backcountry beats buying a motorcycle.

And if it does rain, well then, I'll wash my hair a fix it again, knowing God has me in His hands. Until then, I'll leave the umbrella hanging on the hall tree so I can enjoy each day as it comes, take care of what I can, and let go of what I can't; which also allows the people I love to go out and do the same.

Some parades get rained on. This doesn't mean there shouldn't have been a parade. It's time to quit worrying and start living the fearless life.

TODAY'S ASSIGNMENT: Get out a map of the world. Mark everywhere you've been in your life (since birth), then look at how far you've traveled.

Next mark three places you would like to go. Think about how much faster you'd get there if you just closed up that umbrella and used both hands.

(Lucy Adams is a freelance writer, weekly newspaper humor columnist, and the author of If Mama Don't Laugh, It Ain't Funny, available for purchase from http://www.amazon.com/Mama-Dont-Laugh-Aint-Funny/dp/0979441633/ref=pd_bbs_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1218460811&sr=8-1.)



Latest Activity: Dec 05, 2008 at 5:55 AM



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jwduncan69 commented on Sunday, Sep 28, 2008 at 12:51 PM

Southern Women come in various styles. One is the Southern Belle that says "Yes Mamm" and "Honey, how are you today?"
Then the Redneck Girl (my favorite) that says "Let's grab some beer, jump in the truck, and go mud hawgging. Then maybe do some shootin' later".

Just remember if you go out drinking with Redneck Women, and they start dancing on the table way too early in the night....Their clothes will fall off!

Y'all look for me at the Moonshine Festival in Dawsonville each year. Usually hanging around my family and a few race car drivers...which all are former moonshiners.

Comedian, Wes Duncan
Gainesville, GA
www.myspace.com/wesduncan

jwduncan69 commented on Friday, Dec 05, 2008 at 05:55 AM

I assume your hubby and friends got back safe from the hunting trip.

Being "Happily Divorced" from the evil Yankee daughter of Satan, I always made sure I didn't carry much life insurance when I traveled or hunted. I always feared it'd be like putting a bounty on my head.

I've always loved Southern Girls, but not enough to marry. After the recent verdict in Hall County over the jilted bride getting $150,000 from her former fiancee' (She's from Florida), that has strengthened my stance on marriage proposals being a stupid idea.

Guys, when all you want is a bag of peanuts, why buy a 747 to get them? There are cheaper alternatives. I discovered it's cheaper to find a "Biotch" I hate, and buy her a house!

Of course at my age and weight, if a woman (Especially half my age) takes an interest in me.....She's got something wrong with her mentally or wants my money (As if I actually had any). I run away Screaming in Terror!

This happened recently at Quillian's corner during a Car Show event I worked with a local Radio Station. I met a young 28 YO trophy blond, we talked for about 7 days by phone....before she asked me outright for $700 to cremate her dead father. The thing is, she had told me earlier she was an orphan, all about her dying sister with cancer, changed the number of kids from 3 to 5 and back to 1.

Do you see a pattern with the "Southern Girls" too? Well, I have photos of this pretty trophy on my various websites guys.....Look, don't touch, and don't give her any money or be dumb enough to propose!

All the women I've dated and posted photos of....many are good women that wanted to get married, and finally got tired of waiting on me to "Pop the Question", went on to other suckers.....I mean men, that would marry them. I think of marriage as the same as volunteering. The last time I did that, was volunteering for the Air Force during the Vietnam war. Never again, I learn from my mistakes. Have you?

Comedian, Wes Duncan
Gainesville, GA
www.myspace.com
www.ireport.com/people/jwduncan
www.linkedin.com/jwduncan


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